How We Teach the Habit of Obedience

The habit of ‘obedience’ is one of the top three habits that Charlotte Mason talked about most. The other two are ‘attention’ and ‘truthfulness’.

I believe every parent naturally teaches obedience by the time the child is one year old. Now that my son is in Grade 1, I would like to sit down with him and formally talk about obedience. I want to make obedience a top priority, even more important than academics. Here’s how I taught the habit of obedience to my six-year-old son in our homeschool, using simple lessons, Bible stories, books, and everyday opportunities to practice.

Personal Goals

Share with my child any goal I have identified for this habit.

• My child to desire and practice cheerful and prompt obedience
• My child to choose to obey of their own free will

Self Reminders

• Never give a command that I do not intend to see carried out to the full.
• Be gracious with my child as he learns how to decide well.
• Be careful of giving too many commands that my child may feel pestered.
• I may give reasons for my commands when appropriate and helpful.
• Practice speaking in a positive, firm voice when giving a command.
• Teach my child to respond to his conscience, but do not depend on it solely.
• Teach my child to appeal respectfully when he feels strongly that he is right. Be gracious enough to yield sometimes in matters that are not crucial.
• Treat willfulness as disobedience.
• I am on assignment from God to teach my child obedience, not just to make my son do something because I said so.

Things Needed

OUR MENU FOR THE WEEK
(10-15 minutes per day)

Introduction

“Obey” is not a bad word. Some people see “obey” as a unilateral, overbearing, demanding, and demeaning restriction on one’s freedom. But in the right context, it brings many benefits.

Read and discuss the definition of obedience

Obedience is:

• Submitting to the restraint or command of authority
• A behavior that is respectful of laws and rules

Share a few reasons why obedience is an important habit to learn

• Obedience helps to keep you safe.
• Obedience helps you to be kind and thoughtful.
• Obedience helps you to learn from those who know more than you.
• A child who learns to make himself do what he should, even when he doesn’t feel like it, will be able to accomplish much in this life.

Communicate my expectation with my child

It is expected that obedience will occur the first time a command is spoken. Convey the expectation in a quiet but firm tone.

Character and Bible

Obedience to God is ultimately based on His character. Hear, obey, and be blessed!

Read the biblical principle found in Ephesians 6:1-3

Children are directly spoken to in this passage and are commanded to obey their parents.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother; this is the first commandment with a promise, that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.

Ephesians 6:1-3

Do copywork of this week’s Bible verses

We also did copywork of the same verses in Filipino. Coincidentally, the same lesson came up in Wika at Buhay 1, the Filipino curriculum we’re using, so we took the opportunity to talk about obedience in Filipino as well. It was a nice, natural connection between our character education and Filipino lessons.

Scripture memory

Memorize the same verses used for copywork. We always do copywork before memory work. Writing the verses first helps my child slow down, notice the words, and become more familiar with the passage before memorization begins.

Read, narrate, and discuss Genesis 22:1-19
(Abraham and Isaac)

The story of Abraham’s Sacrifice shows how obedience deepens your trust in a loving, faithful God. And that God will give us far more than we can imagine when we fully obey Him.

Read, narrate, and discuss Jonah 1:1-2:10
(Jonah and the Whale)

Sometimes, our children can feel that they are the only ones who struggle with disobedience. This story shows that even a powerful prophet like Jonah, who walked with God, can struggle with disobedience.

💡 If you’re a fellow homeschooler in the Philippines enrolled with Living Learning Homeschool, these Bible selections also coincide with their Year 1 Bible reading plan.

Library Connection

As much as possible, we do the format I call “RND” or “Read-Narrate-Discuss” for every book we use for homeschool.

“The Tale of Peter Rabbit” by Beatrix Potter

Peter Rabbit really struggled with obedience in the story. Here are some questions we may ask the child after he has read and narrated the story. They move from simple recall to deeper reflection and application.

• Do you think Peter understood his mother’s instructions? Why?
• Why do you think Peter’s mother told him not to go into Mr. McGregor’s garden?
• What dangers do you think Peter would have avoided if he had been obedient to his mother’s instruction?
• Why do you think Peter chose not to listen?
• What happened because Peter disobeyed?
• If Peter had stopped to think before entering the garden, what might he have asked himself?
• Is being curious always a good thing? Can someone be both curious and obedient at the same time?

Connecting the story to the child’s life

• Have you ever been given a rule that you didn’t understand?
• Have you ever ignored an instruction and later realized it was there to protect you?
• Can you think of a family rule that exists for your safety?
• How can we show obedience even when we don’t fully understand a rule?
• Why do you think God gives people instructions?

“Pinocchio” by Carlo Callodi

Pinocchio was also on our reading list, as suggested by our homeschool provider for English Literature. I assigned my child to read the book gradually over five months.

It also tied in naturally with our study of obedience. Throughout the story, we found many opportunities to talk about choices and their consequences, the importance of listening to wise guidance, and what can happen when we choose to ignore it.

“The Berenstain Bears and Too Much TV” by Stan and Jan Berenstain

Because The Berenstain Bears is my son’s favorite picture book collection, I asked him to reread this particular book on his own and then discuss it with me.

My son told me that what stood out to him was that the cubs eventually obeyed the rule about not watching too much TV, even though they struggled with it at first. But, it was Papa Bear who had a harder time following the rule himself! Sounds a little familiar in our family. 🫣

It is a good reminder that teaching obedience isn’t only about giving our children rules to follow. As parents, we also have to model the self-discipline and obedience we expect from them. Children notice when our actions don’t quite match what we ask of them.

“Make Way for Ducklings” by Robert McCloskey

After the ducklings hatch, Mrs. Mallard takes time to teach them what they need to know before taking them out into the world. They learn to follow her, and because they listen to her guidance, they are able to make their journey safely. We connected this to the importance of listening to and learning from a parent’s instruction, especially when a child may not yet understand the dangers ahead.

This also gave us an interesting comparison with The Tale of Peter Rabbit and Pinocchio. The ducklings listen to their mother’s guidance and are led safely through danger, while Peter Rabbit chooses not to follow his mother’s instruction and quickly finds himself in trouble. Pinocchio gives us an even broader picture of the same idea: again and again, he ignores good advice, makes poor choices, and experiences the consequences that follow.

This week’s lesson opened up conversations about why parents give instructions in the first place—not simply to make children obey, but often because we can see dangers and consequences that our children cannot yet recognize for themselves.

Teaching my child obedience doesn’t end with a homeschool lesson. It is something we will continue to practice in our everyday life. And this lesson is not only for him… it is for me, too. As his parent, I need to practice giving clear and firm instructions, following through consistently, and most importantly, modeling the kind of obedience and self-discipline I hope to see in him.

After all, habits are not formed in a single lesson. They are built little by little, through everyday practice and consistency.

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If you have comments, suggestions, or anything you’d like to share, feel free to leave a comment below. I’d love for this to be a safe space for healthy and meaningful discussions.


And maybe I’m a little old-fashioned, or perhaps an overstimulated mom… but I really hope personal websites flourish again, especially in the age of social media and AI chat. It feels nicer to be in our own little quiet corner of the internet, right?

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